The VNA Can Help Your Parents Stay At Home...So You Don't Have To

I was recently talking to a family caregiver who told me that she was so committed to taking care of her elderly mother she didn't realize she had dropped out of her own life.

She explained that every year, she traditionally spent time with the same friends on the Fourth of July watching fireworks from their boat on one of the Great Lakes. But in the last two years, she had canceled to take care of her mom. When she called this year, everyone was disappointed because they had already invited someone else and couldn't fit any more people. Her mother was angry with her.

Sometimes, caregivers can get so involved with taking care of a mom or dad or other loved ones, they sometimes forget their own needs, dismissing them as frivolous or thinking "I can have fun later."

It is so important to stay involved with your own life.

Losing touch with your friends weakens your support systems.

Denying yourself a break leads to burn-out.

Constantly arriving late at work or taking too much time off can jeopardize employment.

Often caregivers are caring for a senior, a parent, a grandparent while caring for their own families. This lack of balance hurts you as the caregiver and does not allow time for your spouse, family, and friends. It does not set a good example for your own children.

All caregiving roles eventually end. It is enough to grieve and re-adjust to life without that other person, but finding yourself without your own routine or your own supports makes it even more difficult. Building HELP into the caregiving role, not only gives you the strength to go the long distance, but also helps you to have the balance for yourself. Letting yourself off the hook allows you to do fun activities, relax, and enjoy breaks -- all necessary to maintain your wellbeing.

This is another great article about caregiving that might help you. Visit AARP for more information.