January, 2009We're only one month into the New Year...have you kept that resolution to start taking better care of yourself? If you're taking care of others but not taking care of yourself, your health can suffer, your job can suffer, your family can suffer, and your care for others can suffer as well.
So many caregivers begin a routine that grows incrementally until the caregiver does not realize that their entire life revolves around the care of another individual (sometimes more than one).
Caregivers are sometimes the last to realize that they might always be late, their cumulative personal days add up to weeks, they've gained ten pounds, or they haven't taken a vacation in years. Sometimes it's only a rare (and delayed) trip to their own doctor that provides the wake up call they need about their own healthcare.
If you are a caregiver, perhaps the New Year is a time to evaluate whether you need to spend more time taking care of yourself and whether you need help.
Perhaps the following might remind you either of yourself, or someone you know who might need help.
"I can do it"..."It's not a problem"..."Don't worry, I'll take care of it"...
Many caregivers have a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that they can't do it all on their own: they're exhausted at the end of the day; they're late again for work; they didn't get to meet their child's teacher on parent-teacher day. They're in the habit of overcommiting themselves and they're in the habit of dropping everything to respond to a crisis.
"I'm too busy to figure out where to get help...it's easier to do it myself."
No one counts on a crisis lasting for years. But without a plan to manage the changing needs of an elderly parent or someone who is chronically ill in an organized, thoughtful way, everyone operates in crisis mode and that can go on for years. If you are always worried about an elderly family member, if you're taking time off from work that isn't planned, if you're cancelling your own commitments, if you don't have time to work out or be with your own family, chances are, you're operating in crisis mode but you're so used to it, you don't even know it.
Here's our advice: Check into your community resources. Put aside common myths such as thinking of senior centers as "day care," or believing that your mom or dad would never want "some stranger" in their home. Agencies such as the VNA have dedicated, capable caregivers who develop wonderful relationships with their clients. They can help you organize the current situation and plan for the future. Whether you simply need someone to help an elder manage their medication, accompany them to doctors appointments, help them with meal preparation and housekeeping, or simply to keep them safe with good company, the VNA can help you by tailoring the service to the need. As a non-profit, the VNA can offer services that are affordable but also regulated as far as quality and safety.
It's the New Year. Make a resolution to take better care of yourself by finding someone to help you take care of someone else.
2 comments:
You're right, I just want to finish the book I started three months ago. Maybe setting small goals and building back up is the way to go.
I agree, it's hard to detach from loved ones, but they need it as much as you do.
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